Deeper Story Pt. 5

Continued from Part 4

With my new career path I thought about how to get what I felt “called” to do.  I began going to as many church meetings as I could.  Not being able to drive yet I pretty much just tagged along with anything my parents went to.  I attended both my parents bible study as well as the high school bible study, being on the worship team I also attended both services on Sunday.  I soaked it all in.

As time went on I began to lead worship in those bible studies, which were groups of about 10 – 15 people.  I also began to lead some of the studies.  Anyone who has done any kind of teaching knows that it forces you to learn more.  Problem here, in hindsight, is that I was simply accepting what I was learning as truth with out question.  I guess you could say I had “blind faith”.  Why would all these adults lie to me?

During high school I had changing interests.  I was involved in the school musical freshman year, I was in the chess club (briefly), but the one thing that never wavered was church and the pursuit of the knowledge of god.

I have to go back a little ways and talk about an interest that started back in middle school.  I was in eighth grade English when one of my passions came to realization.  I loved writing.  I wrote poems, stories, tales of my life pretty much all the time.  I always had a notebook with me and just wrote what came to mind.  I wish I could find some of those now.  As I began to do this whole god thing all of my creative juices flowed into that.  But the passion of it just didn’t seem to be there.  I became obsessed with making sure that the poems I wrote could be come a worship song.  I suppressed writing about topics that I found interesting because they didn’t go with what god would want.  Eventually I just let it go.  I gave up trying.  I gave up writing.  I wonder where I would be if I hadn’t.

Junior year I took a class in drafting.  I would design things (like a model house or a bridge) and then build them.  I found this to be a pretty neat thing.  There was a course that followed this in Computer Aided Drafting.  Basically using the computer to do the designs.  I didn’t have much experience with computers at this point (we didn’t have one at home yet…yeah I’m old and my father is a late adopter of technology).   This sparked the interest that would eventually shape my career path.  I found using the computer easy and interesting.  People complain that computers never work the way they are supposed to, but they just do exactly as they are told (as I write this I’m realizing the parallel between my love for the computer and my investment in religion).  I tend to retort with “Computers are great at making highly accurate mistakes”.  Garbage in garbage out.  Much like my brain until recently…