Continued from Part 4
With my new career path I thought about how to get what I felt “called” to do. I began going to as many church meetings as I could. Not being able to drive yet I pretty much just tagged along with anything my parents went to. I attended both my parents bible study as well as the high school bible study, being on the worship team I also attended both services on Sunday. I soaked it all in.
As time went on I began to lead worship in those bible studies, which were groups of about 10 – 15 people. I also began to lead some of the studies. Anyone who has done any kind of teaching knows that it forces you to learn more. Problem here, in hindsight, is that I was simply accepting what I was learning as truth with out question. I guess you could say I had “blind faith”. Why would all these adults lie to me?
During high school I had changing interests. I was involved in the school musical freshman year, I was in the chess club (briefly), but the one thing that never wavered was church and the pursuit of the knowledge of god.
I have to go back a little ways and talk about an interest that started back in middle school. I was in eighth grade English when one of my passions came to realization. I loved writing. I wrote poems, stories, tales of my life pretty much all the time. I always had a notebook with me and just wrote what came to mind. I wish I could find some of those now. As I began to do this whole god thing all of my creative juices flowed into that. But the passion of it just didn’t seem to be there. I became obsessed with making sure that the poems I wrote could be come a worship song. I suppressed writing about topics that I found interesting because they didn’t go with what god would want. Eventually I just let it go. I gave up trying. I gave up writing. I wonder where I would be if I hadn’t.
Junior year I took a class in drafting. I would design things (like a model house or a bridge) and then build them. I found this to be a pretty neat thing. There was a course that followed this in Computer Aided Drafting. Basically using the computer to do the designs. I didn’t have much experience with computers at this point (we didn’t have one at home yet…yeah I’m old and my father is a late adopter of technology). This sparked the interest that would eventually shape my career path. I found using the computer easy and interesting. People complain that computers never work the way they are supposed to, but they just do exactly as they are told (as I write this I’m realizing the parallel between my love for the computer and my investment in religion). I tend to retort with “Computers are great at making highly accurate mistakes”. Garbage in garbage out. Much like my brain until recently…
4 replies on “Deeper Story Pt. 5”
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